It was a lazy afternoon at the pediatric outpatient department . A middle aged woman, who looked evidently worried, came to my consultation room with a small baby. She was followed by a very young and equally worried young lady, whom I presumed to be the mother, and her young husband who still had not outgrown his boyish looks.
” Doctor!”, the middle aged lady, whom I later learnt was the grandmother and the unrivaled chief of the clan, cried out. “ Look at this baby, she was pink when she was born! And now day by day she is becoming darker. You doctors kept her under such strong lights for jaundice, but you never told us that our baby will become so dark!” While the tears rained down, I took a quick second glance at the family. The adult female members were extremely fair, whereas the father was quite dark, and had obviously transmitted the genes to his daughter. He caught my glance and bent down his head as if ashamed of his heinous crime.
My mind raced back to my childhood. How innocently I thought that my darkness was a disease. Each time I was branded as “black” (sadly nobody was politically correct back then), I thought one day I will rise up from the ashes like a phoenix, and look fair and lovely. I endured looking yellow with turmeric, brown with red sandal, ghostly with sandal paste, stinky with milk cream and sticky with honey. After each such ordeal, I used to run back to the mirror, expecting a new “white” me looking back, but to my dismay, it was always the same “black” me in the reflection. I slowly began to understand why I was not included in the “tiny tots” program in the kindergarten, why I was never a flower girl at school programs and why my cheeks were not pulled by seniors. Despite being an all-rounder all throughout my school life, I always felt inadequate. As a teenager, I could never find cosmetics suiting my complexion – those big brands neglected the existence of the “inferior” darker race. Somehow all the colorful clothes were either too bright or dull for me, and yellow and orange were out of bounds.
I thought nobody would want to be me – there were all those fair options to choose from. I continued to find dissatisfaction in all my achievements, just because I did not fit in the real mold – or so I thought. In my school leaving slam-book a friend of mine wrote,“ There are a million girls who would want to be you!” I thought he was mocking me. I confronted him to clarify and got this reply, “Girl, you are an ace athlete and a brilliant student. You are creative and multi-talented. You do so many things that so many others can only dream of! What more do you want?”
It still took time to accept myself. I had forgotten that each creation is God's masterpiece. I was so busy lamenting about what I thought I lacked, that I forgot my innumerable blessings and privileges. I was blind to my achievements because I thought it was more important to be fair skinned and pretty. Years down the line I realized that it was just an imaginary mold created by a blind section of society to which I need not conform. I was bigger and better than that mold. When I had so many blessings to count, I was pressurized to think that a few superficial layers of skin decided my fate. Here I was, privileged with a noble profession that I reached through merit. I had not lacked anything. I was blessed beyond measure.
“ She is a girl, doctor! What will become of her future?” The sobbing brought me back to the present.
“I got this!”, I told myself, “you have come to the expert!” I took a deep breath and started. “Aunty, if photo-therapy for jaundice makes babies dark, why do people in western countries remain fair despite some of them receiving photo-therapy? Our complexion is just another design in God’s master plan. Salt and pepper is needed for taste. The ebony and ivory colored keys together create symphony on a piano. Light and darkness make a day. Black pen on white paper makes a beautiful poem. White and black together create beauty. Dark skin is not a bane. Beauty is not skin deep. Beauty is beyond anything that you see. God creates each life with divine perfection. Each human being born on this earth has a purpose which cannot be erased by cast, creed or colour. A few layers of skin cannot define us, indeed underneath those layers we are all alike.. Ambition cannot be lessened by dark skin. Success is not linked to melanin. Your baby’s future is brighter than a narrow minded society’s darkened vision.”
The parents looked at each other and smiled. The grandmother was not fully convinced. “ But madam, who will marry her? How will she have a good future?” I couldn't hide a smile. “Aunty, look at me. I am dark. I have a loving family. I am a doctor. I have the best husband in the world. There are a handful of people like you who trust me with their kids` lives. A pigmented skin did not ruin my future. I am blessed by God in every way!”
After they left and before the next patient came I quickly took out my phone camera and put on the selfie mode. “Yes”, I smiled to myself, “dark is beautiful in yellow!”
“SNAP! ”
Dr. Angel Philip